The Single Adjustment That Worked: The Way I Conquered After-Work Tension Through an Unexpected Find in the Loft

I frequently become like a coiled spring once the workday ends. My shoulders grow tense, breathing becomes rapid and shallow. Usually, closing my laptop with a thud used to lead to the squeak of a cork pulled from a bottle of red, the wine hastily sploshed into a glass, that initial sip marking the end of the workday.

Then, a few months ago, I discovered my now-adult son’s old school recorder in the attic. Curious, I blew into it, instantly reminded of the time it was the bane of my life – his daily practice a violent assault on my eardrums, the sharp sounds echoing in my mind long after he slept.

But rather than consigning it to the bin, I took it down, along with a book – Very Easy Recorder Tunes. Growing up, I was the least musical child ever. I took recorder classes in primary school, but never had the opportunity to learn other instruments.

Googling “how to play the recorder”, I watched dozens of YouTube videos aimed at children, and printed out a fingering chart. I searched “easiest recorder tunes”, I felt excited when I played a recognizable Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. Yes, a typical young child could learn it quickly, but as a tone deaf, impatient and stressed 51-year-old, it seemed like a major triumph.

My son questioned my actions (and begged me to quit), but I kept going – I enjoyed the sensation the recorder gave me. Forgetting notes easily meant I had to concentrate on the sheet of paper in front of me, and carefully mimic the finger placements. My breath calmed, my attention sharpened, and once I’d mastered that first faltering tune, I was overjoyed. I had managed to play music.

Today, several months later, I can handle other children’s songs and a decent Ode to Joy. Sure, my timing is rubbish, and I still need to write the names of the notes down, but to me, it’s not about skill or being a musician – it’s purely about the joy it provides and the fact I can’t think of anything else when I am playing.

I read that only one in six children learn to play the recorder now, which was no doubt music to parents’ ears, but it made me a little sad and nostalgic for my own school days, and my son’s childhood.

I make it a habit to play each night after work as my first activity, and in those 20 or so minutes, I am in my own little world. Afterward, I feel totally energised and uplifted.

My friends find it amusing, but one very wise therapist friend told me I was not only lowering my stress levels, and boosting mental skills, such as memory and auditory processing, which is invaluable at my time of life. And in terms of my day-to-day wellbeing, it’s a real “ode to joy” indeed.